Why is it?

I decided that from now on I could try to post daily or once a week. It will be just inspirations and some things that I am thinking about. Hopefully you all enjoy.

So recently I wrote an awesome poem called I am an Idiot. It sounds funny but in actuality it was one of the most truthful poems I have ever written. Many of my poems are inspired by someone not directly about someone. When you like someone you have inspirations all the sudden, to write to sing and to dance. That is why I say love is so powerful if it is the right one it is going to do all the right things, otherwise you know what's next. I wrote the poem because I do feel like an idiot when it talking to someone or crushes. I watch these romance movies and I look at how wonderful it is. Literally my heart drops down to my stomach. It hurts because I want that to be me, I want to see what it is like. I never have been in love with someone, But I have felt love for someone in the past. But when I fall in love I am going to know it. I guess its like trying on different outfits until you find the write one for an occasion. And In this occasion it is love, and once I wear the right outfit when I finish going through all the selections in clothing then I will see the picture. I will be like this looks and feels perfect for the occasion. It makes sense. But maybe using the same example that makes out for why people are picky? Everyone has different taste in things and it does starts with physical attraction.

But going back to why I am an idiot, and how most likely many of us have felt this way. I have really good instincts and when something doesn't feel right I immediately notice it. And In my case (which is most likely many other people's cases too) I see this and give the other person the benefit of the doubt. Communication is such a powerful tool, I try so hard not to buy too into it. I just do not understand why (in my case) guys text woman and they are super sweet and then all the sudden stop. Woman notice when you don't say lol as much or use exclamation marks or put hearts or blow kisses like you used to. We notice when you take longer to text, and even the length of a reply. We notice if you say you will text back when you are done doing something, and you never do. And if you take too long we might check on Facebook to see if you were on Facebook or something. And if you posted something or were on messenger you obviously saw the text and you ignored it. I always said woman make the best investigators lol. So we see this and either A. we say something, B. we act like maybe he did not get it, or C, just see how long this last, maybe he got busy. So we see this but it is hard to think why you would be ignored if just 2 days ago this person said that they loved spending time with you or just I don't know said many sweet things. So now I am getting mixed feeling whether I should say something or just try to be understanding. But many time when you start questioning things, your instinct is probably right. It may be 2 weeks from then that they text less and less hoping you get a clue. I think that is just beyond rude. I do not like and will not accept hints or clues, I want nothing but the truth. I am an adult woman and I like that people are honest with me as I am with them. Truth hurts, but a lie hurts even more. I would prefer to be hated for telling the truth than for telling a lie. But that's me.

So, at this point when the truth finally comes I feel like an idiot because I felt this coming and decided to over look it giving the benefit of the doubt, and I kept holding on to all the things the other person said just not too long ago. It just never made sense and I end up disappointed and a little sad because I was feeling that maybe this could lead to something, but it ended in disappointment. And It is a problem I have I overlook something's, and plenty of times the truth is right in front of you, but your heart does not want to believe it. The heart and mind are sometimes against each other and they can create false illusions. But all I am saying if you have a heart tell the other person if and when you feelings change. If you felt that maybe they are not for you, no one likes to be led on. Like a quote in 16 candles:  "That's why they call them crushes. If they were easy, they'd call 'em something else." And I have been crushed plenty. With all this if you are not trying to crash someone's heart in love,  before they crash on the ground tell them.