My Angel

She was Mocha and loca to the public,

born and raised in Dominican Republic.

She would always sing to me in the room,

together we danced to some groovy tunes.

In the mornings she spoke to me every day.

She could not wait to meet me face to face

She had a name, the date, she had a place.

All that was missing was the warm embrace.

I arrived that Tuesday summer night in June,

There were you, waiting with the big balloons.

It was blurry and unclear, but I felt you near.

My mother, my angel.
 

Mother you knew that you were very ill,
It could have never been cured with a pill.

But still, you kept me.
Even though it was threatening.

To others it was not worth it,
but my life to you wasn't worthless.

I wish I only had five minutes,
So I could be there to witness.

I wish I knew your favorite color, your favorite movie.

To feel your hug, see your smile, but you're above me.
Just to tell you I admire your beauty, your strength.
My appreciation for life has no measure, no length.

At seven I almost made it to your door,
but you weren't there, he needed you more.

It hurts when people tell me all these stories,
I wish it were you sharing those memories

Only he knows the reason for this getaway,
left me without words to say. But it's okay.
 

That's life, I only missed you by three weeks..
I know it is crazy, but I always feel your presence.
I can't put it all into words, or into a sentence.
But I just know you're there smiling.
I hope I am what you expected me to be and more.
I have more to go, but I am sure you know.

Till next time, Thank you again .

 Love always,

  -Your Victory

Why Fear Life? Enjoy it.

I recently was hired as a Flight Attendant. And wow. I love this career! (I have to thank a wonderful friend of mine Jamison W. that encouraged me he is such a kind and outstanding person. Jamie, You are awesome and you know it! :) ) I love flying and staying at fancy hotels. I feel like a model walking down the terminal with luggage, my leather heels and my scarf is flowing in the air lol. People notice us, and to be honest it is a really cool feeling. The best part are the children honestly. I just recently had a little girl color a Barbie doll and want to give it to me. Another child wanted a picture with me. And it feels so freaking awesome! They give us these gold plastic Pilot wings, but I just say it is like our flight attendant wings, but bigger! And I even have some stories I have been creating in my mind. So get this, if a child starts crying I want to come up and tell them, hey there’s no reason to cry. And I will be like see these wings? (Pointing at my actual flight attendant wings.) Legend has it that anyone that wears these wings never cry. See I am not crying. But the only way it works if you are brave enough to have these wings. Are you strong enough? Because I think you are pretty strong to have them. I have a unique one that is bigger and more colorful than mines that I can give you. And you are unique so I think you deserve it. What do ya say? But once you have these wings you won’t have to cry. Or something like that. I have not actually said it yet. But I am sure it will work. I will definitely let you know the outcome. I can’t wait lol. I mean, I hope a child does not cry, but should it happen I hope my fairy tale works lol. It is corny I know. But I love being cheesy, both, internally and on chicken parmesan lol.

So I have nothing but great things to say about this career! I know people are like oh my gosh I would have to move. And what if the plane crashes? Or people throwing up and not get paid that much. No personal life. I would be scared because I would be so high in the air and I would not have anywhere to go, no control.

So a couple of things. For one you never have control over life. Whether you are high in the skies or down on the ground. You could be the safest driver and have an accident. It doesn’t have to be your fault. But point is, life is bigger than you, bigger than us. Having to move is not that bad, especially since it was a cool city. Not getting paid that much, yea it can suck starting this job. But that’s like any other job as the years go by pay gets better. And people can get sick. I mean come on people that could be you or your family members. Things happen. Yea it can suck but we are humans and it is embarrassing enough so there’s no need to emphasis it more

And in addition to that I have at least 12 days off a month. That is almost half the month that I have off. I am right now guaranteed 78 hours whether it is worked or not (Because I am new and reserve) which is awesome. Personally I like working more hours because it is more pay and more opportunity to see the world. Personal life? Dude you have 12 days off a month! A normal job will give you 8 days a month if you only have weekends off. Plus once you hold a line, like chose to build your own schedule you can have as many hours as you can get. You have so much flexibility it is crazy lol. Work doesn’t feel like work, it feels like an adventure. I meet new people all the time. You can spend a day in Paris because you feel like it lol. You can tan in Dominican Republic, swim in Hawaii, shop in California, hike in Colorado. I mean the possibilities. If I had to lose a couple dollars to live this life, I wouldn’t think twice about it. What is the point of working a desk job and  watching and waiting for that 5 O’clock hour to hit? I never really know what time it is, what day it is because if time zones, and you're always up and about. ( I just thought of that Chicago song, does anybody really know what time it is?) And wait a year to visit friends or relatives. Wait to retire to start traveling, Or spend all your savings to do so. Life is limited, so why wait? I understand that some people with kids it is difficult. But for the most part money is not worth more than memories. People work to get money all their lives, and have all this money and it is left for someone else to enjoy.

We have the blessing to see and walk and move. But people get too comfortable. Many people settle and then like what they have because sometimes it is all they know. And there is no need to fear change, embrace it. Life is so unexpected, and we keep relying on tomorrow to do the things we wish to do today. And tomorrow does not exist. So live everyday like it is your last. Stop putting it off and get the party on!

And to be honest about the relocation, I mean I love Florida. But seeing pictures and considering I can live anywhere I want to live, Florida is Okay lol.  You can go ANYWHERE!

Moral of the story, if this sounds like you, get a job with an airline, or become a flight attendant!
Stop letting fear control you, it is a disadvantage that will jeopardize the opportunity of this one life we have.

But this story is to be continued, please stay tuned! More stories to come :)

Not On My Time, But His **Blog Post** 9/24/2015

I often times when things do not go my way, I feel that things are just not going right. The way it wasn't meant to go, and it just feels awful. I was in training to be a flight attendant back in July. I felt I was offered an opportunity of a lifetime having that chance to work with one of the major airline carriers. They fly all over the world!

And so, just the whole process it is really difficult, It is not impossible but certainly not something easy to get. They tell us out of 100 people only like 2 get selected. Delta is just as selective if not worst. I was reading online that getting a job with delta is harder then getting accepted in Harvard lol. CRAZY!! I was just reading this article:

Recently, Delta received over 40,000 applications for 1,500 flight attendant openings, US Airways received 20,000 applications for 1,000 positions and Southwest received 10,000 applications for 750 vacancies posted on their website (in just two hours). After a long dry spell, United recently announced a large push to hire flight attendants due to a major European and Pacific route expansion in 2015
source: http://www.airlinecareer.com/

Point is it is a very intense process, highly competitive. It has a lot with being the image of the company. How fast you can react to unexpected situations. I cried when I got the job offer. First time I ever do anything like that, but I mean come on, I got an offer as a flight attendant, how cool is that! Well, moving on. You learn a lot about all sorts of things, I was taught CPR which was super cool, and because before if I was confronted with that situation I would be s clueless and feel helpless. I got to use a fire extinguisher too! I swear I would see it all over the buildings but I never knew anything about how it works or timing. But there are a lot of tests and most importantly evacuations. And it is a 5 week program 6 days a week around 10 hours a day. Intense. But it can be a lot of fun.

So I got sent home on my 4th week! All because I did not pass evacuations. I cannot even begin to explain how sad I was. I was so close, yet suddenly so far. I was like so bummed I think I cried for 3 days straight. I sold everything to have this job. I knew I could no longer live in Florida. So, I just followed my heart. Turned in my apartment, sold my car, almost everything. Just kept some clothes, shoes, my sound system and my 80's Posters. (They’re expensive!) I did this all because I swear when I had an opportunity to do the video interview, I felt all my responses were right on. And in my head I was like there is no way they could not like my interview lol. I swear I told myself I am a flight attendant, like I can really see myself doing something I liked.

It was either, "I do not have money." Or "I don't have time to travel." Well I get paid to travel. BAM! I feel I got a cheat code in life lol. I won't have to wait to retire to see the world. I won’t get paid all that but the experience and the opportunity is rewarding enough. I do not have a degree, so I do not expect too much you know?  I was in college studying to be a counselor, later on major in Psychology. It is still doable, but until I get the feel of things I do not want to make any kinds of commitments.

But anyways, I ended up getting a call from the manager in the inflight recruiting inviting me to return to training! I said YES! Omg why even ask me, just tell me come on this date lol. I am doing well so far. I am on my final days or my 4th week! I graduate next Friday. I passed Evacs flawlessly! My briefings and my test scores are all A's. I got one low score one day of a 92 which isn't terrible. I just did not read the question correctly. I have 3 more tests left. The final is on Monday. And me coming back has made me a lot more knowledgeable of my role as a flight attendant. I was able to help the new classmates in staying focused. It was weird first being with the newbies. It's like a senior bragging about graduation and then you're the kid students ask about, wasn't she supposed to graduate last year? And it was odd at first for me, but everyone understood and we are all cool.

I am so happy and I am certain that everything happens for a reason, I feel so much more relieved being confident about what I need to do. God has a better plan for me I am sure. Like I said, it is not on my time, but his time. I feel a lot of things have sucked in my life, but had none of those things have happened I wouldn't be who I am today, and where I am today. Remember it is not about where you start, but where you end. We live and learn. And some people in my class say had they been sent home they do not think they would have been able to do it, coming back. I am like do what? Follow your dreams, pursue an opportunity of a lifetime? People take things for granted. Yea I had to start all over, but better late than never. It definitely was an experience I will never forget. And if learned anything it would be to pay close attention. To not care what people think of my dreams. It is a vision only I can see, to some it may be crazy, but really the crazy ones are them. Fear is definitely something that can be felt, but it won’t be something I will let it become. I am going to move and it’s okay. I may be flying and things could happen, but I won’t think like that. And if something did happen, I will try to rescue everyone or die trying should it get there. But my main goal is that people have an awesome, and enjoyable time

Cheers to a new life ahead!

Speech For My Graduation **Video**

I finally graduated as a Flight Attendant Last Friday. (10/02/2015) And I started this journey back in July I was sent Home in the beginning August because I was not successful on a drill. I was released on my 4th week when I was supposed to graduate on the 5th week.
I was called to return to training on the end of August and I took the offer of course and was determined to work twice as hard. And I did. I got really great grades averaging between 96-100.
Not only that I was nominated to be class speaker for the second class I was in. I have never ever done a speech, and it has been years since I have been on stage. But it honestly was such an Honor.

Here are the names I mentioned and why so it may be understood a little more clearly:
Tyler part was a classmate of mine Eun who was yelling TYLEEER during her evacs because it was smoky in the cabin. She is Korean and her accent is cute lol. And then Angie was a student that had to re drill the evacs, and she was nervous to do so. But she is honestly such a beautiful and smart girl. Like she is so smart and kind and I knew God was not going to let her go. I believed in her and so did the rest of the class. And she passed. And we are so proud of her. That's what mattered that she passed. That was the part where I was sent home with a long some other classmates.
George he won the Predictable award because he is seriously predictable lol. So he was on my speech, so was a girl named Roya she always stayed up crazy hours studying and she too was predictable.
Allie luckily won the Gracious award because she was in my opinion gracious and kind and had a genuine smile each and every time. And she won! she was never nothing less than happy and loving. There was another Allie who was also very gracious and kind and smiley and they both were together all the time (The Allies)

Lol I wish I had not been nervous in the speech but I loosened up towards the middle of it I wanted it to be clever and special. Luckily everyone really loved it. Seriously was nice to hear that from so many people and it definitely gave me a boost of inspiration for my writing passion.

Moral of the story? People said they would not come back, they would have been embarrassed or too hard. A lot of people said that even in my new training class. It is a lot of hard work and studying, but it is not impossible. I made it a goal to pass and not care what people thought of me. I made people Aware I returned but as I said, it was for the best not the worst. There were others from my previous class and some other classes that also returned. And don't think of it as a act of failure but an act of courage. It just demonstrated how bad we all wanted this dream.

Never let other peoples opinion steer you away from what you want. We live in a world where the majority of peoples decisions is based on others opinions. And what kind of life is that? It would be a waste to have a life and mind of our own, and not live it and think it on our own.

Hopefully this comes to inspirations to many. It may not be a tragic story or that huge of a deal for some, or not that inspirational. But to me it was, to my classmates it was. It is these little things that can turn into something huge. To keep going for what you want to do in life despite how hard it may seem. Nothing is easy, but it is certainly not impossible. Unless you tell yourself that it is. the only thing that is stopping you, Is you. The choice is yours

She is Beautiful

People see her fancy cars and her fancy house

They think she has the most wonderful spouse.

From the outside everything looks glamorous

Their relationship is showcased to be amorous.

They have had many wonderful times together

They made promise that they would be forever.

But as days passed, he slowly began to change

Things started to become unusual and strange.

She started to realize and became so frightened

If only she had her two loves, her only guidance.

She smiles to everyone because it’s just easier

In a public eye it is a disguise, it looks prettier.

People only see what she wants them to believe

The truth is so deep, it simply can’t be unseen.

But that is only part of the truth, there is more.

She’s someone you’ll meet and absolutely adore

She is beautiful, passionate and kind internally

It outshines and adds to her beauty externally.

She is very talented in so many different things

She’s a wonderful mother, and she can also sing.

She was once ill for four years, but not her will

She stayed strong, she refused to remain still.

Not once did she lose her faith or become bitter

She won that deadly battle and remains a winner.

I may not have known this lady a very long time

But It’s not needed I could see it all in her eyes

May God continue to bless her soul every day

She’s amazing, I hope she always stays that way.

How I Feel About Love in General and Personally *My thoughts Exactly*

    Imagine only being able to hear the song when it comes on the radio, so you catch it if and when you can. Or when you change the radio and suddenly and it is the song but it has already ended. Well when I hear a melody that I am really digging, I immediately want it. I want to keep hearing the melody, because I enjoy the sound and how it makes me feel and how I connected with it. I do not want to just hear it on the radio if I am lucky. I want to hear it every time I think of the song. Same way with love and romance I do not want a chance to pass by, I want to learn more and hear the "the rest of the Album". Learn more about the person, so to say. I have neve been in love. Close to it? I thought I was. But the more I think about it, I was convincing myself I felt that way. I only did it because I was not willing to accept the truth. I knew the reality, just wasn't ready for the gravity.

    I always feel like a part of me is incomplete. I am happy, just incomplete. Love to me is not a feeling of I am finally happy but finally complete. And thus, I am happy to have everything I feel I was missing in life. But I am happy. I am reminded often when I listen to love songs. I guess since I have no love my heart has no face or a name to put on these love songs. So they feel empty. Passionate, strong, breathtaking but empty. I listen to these songs and I feel like suddenly my air is shorter. My heart often times is reminding me of something I never had. I Listen to the love songs and wish I had someone I could be thinking about, hoping when he hears it as well, he thinks of me too. At the same time I am so scared to fall for someone so hard that I actually end up bruised. I feel like at that point, I will be vulnerable. My defenses are always high. I let people in and trust them. But falling in love... I would have to let go close my eyes and give myself to my partner, hoping he meant when he said he cared and would never want to hurt me. This is when the phrase actions speak louder than words is tested. You close your eyes and let go and fall in his loving arms. (falling in love) That is what true love I feel feels like. It is a sense a relief knowing you found such a person. You trust the wrong person, and not even Life Alert will be able to lift you up from that fall. (just saying). I have never trusted anyone that much. I went through a breakup with my last Ex and the feeling is ridiculous. Just sadness and tears and sad music, loss of interest. It feels like the colors in life suddenly faded. To me I feel love is a raindow, no mater if it is raining and/or shining they will always be there to bring colors to your life. they will be there in your good days and or bad days. I only say that because even when it rains, I see a ranbow and I forget that it is even rainng. I am no longer focused on that because something beautiful came out of it. If it is sunny and I see a rainbow, even better.

   I think it is important to love yourself first, and be happy with yourself first. Love is home, but you will always be "homeless" if you are always going from home to home. You have to have your own "home" first that way should you ever reside somewhere else and it does not work out, you can always find your way back. That is why many people feel lost when they do not have love or a relationship. They simply do not have a home, have no where to go, no place to channel and deal with the emotions. I have a certain image of a person I intended to fall in love with, internally that is. It is like all my life I have had a dream of this man that I could grow old with, have a family with. But there was never a face, or a name. Just a spirit I could feel. Like I can close my eyes and smile knowing he is out there, and he too was thinking the same thing. Often times daydream about what he would look like, or how long it would take. I have been on plenty of dates because I want to listen what people have to say. See how they perceive life. What goals they have in the future, what have they done in the past, whether it was good or bad and see what they made out of the situation. If I decide to get in a relationship with someone it is with the intention to last for a while. I know people tell me just have fun and enjoy. But personally, I do not want to get involved with someone because they are really attractive or have a fancy lifestyle. It is because we envision the same future, not necessarily marry them, but just make it worthwhile. Time only moves forward. So if I stand by someone who I do not see a future with, I would not move forward, I will be in the same place I started for God knows how long. And life is short, I do not want to wake up the next day and feel I wasted my time with someone. I want each day that passes by it get better and brighter to help each others goals. And that is another HUGE thing, a man with a plan. I cannot be with someone if they do not know what they want in life, like are they even sure they want me? Those people are dangerous because there is a lot of uncertainty in their life. If someone has no goals they have nowhere to go in life, no future to look forward to. In my life, I want someone on my level so we can become greater together, or someone higher that I can look up to, and help me get to where he is.

    Love shouldn't cause pain, I have met plenty of couples (older generations) that are as happy as can be. And they also said that they have never had any problems. Some disagreements once in a while, but most was due to the lack of communication. But many people nowadays try to put an excuse to why they hurt their significant other. If you truly love someone, the last thing you want is to cause pain. People say that they were "angry" when they get physical. But I feel that only happens because people do not tend to communicate. People are fearful of confrontation, the truth and the lies, or simply letting some things go. Everything essential to a happy and effective relationship. Yes, I changed my mind about dinner I am sorry. Instead of making a argument of how I changed my mind. Just say it is okay and move on, now we have saved enough time enjoy dinner and even get desert... a homemade ice cream banana split ;) Aaand Moving on lol.

    Love in general I feel is a sweet thing, It helps us grow, we are born with love in our hearts. No one is born to hate, it is what people learned on their own. And even then, we have the choice whether we choose to express it or not. Just because something is common, it doesn't make it okay. But anyways, thank you for everyone that checks out my website or is a subscriber on my Youtube channel. You are awesome!!! Be well and always remember, the greatest happiness and love comes from within yourself.

Be well!

Blur

You were in fact one of the kindest there is

never was there a detail you forget or missed.

You did things randomly because you cared

It was then that all I could do was just stare.

I have never in my life met anyone like you

To me it was the first, just something new.

You said you’ve never seen anyone so beautiful,

my thoughts exactly, was the feeling is mutual.

I could look into your eyes forever if I could.

But I always questioned myself if I really should.

Your company, the kisses were all too wonderful

Deep down I knew we got too comfortable.

You expressed your feelings sooner than expected.

I am not upset you said it, we really connected.

I honestly was clueless on how to respond

Never have I met someone that felt as strong.

You and I knew I was leaving very soon

But we attracted and kissed beneath the moon.

You’ve said and done the sweetest things

But you knew my goal was to get my wings.

Consciously I was always questioning myself

Is it really you, or is there someone else?

I wasn’t sure I was in the same page you were

In my future I could see you, but in a blur.

I don’t want to force something manually.

I want to look at you and feel it naturally

Perhaps we need time for all this to become clear

Who knows maybe days, weeks, a month or a year?

Hopefully you’re not upset and understand

Give it time for our hearts and minds to expand.

Just give it time, but meanwhile let’s just be friends.

I am sure I will see you again this won’t be the end.